SHE Asked Podcast

Ep 6: The Art of the Pivot: Life Tips for Women Starting Over

• Anna McBride • Season 1

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What does it really take to start over after divorce, grief, or a major life upheaval? 

In today's episode, Anna shares her own story of navigating a protracted divorce and rediscovering herself through healing, reinvention, and the power of intentional growth. You’ll hear real-life examples from women like Elizabeth Gilbert, Sheryl Sandberg, and Martha Stewart - each of whom turned adversity into opportunity.

Anna also offers four practical tools for anyone at a crossroads:

  1. Set clear goals

  2. Seek support

  3. Invest in yourself

  4. Practice consistent self-care

This episode is for you if you're standing at the edge of a new beginning and need both inspiration and grounded advice. Remember: you don’t just wake up and become the butterfly.

*Growth is a process*


~ Coach with Anna ~

Speaker 1:

Hi everyone. It's Anna McBride. Welcome back to. She Asks Tools of Practical Hope. This show explores topics of growth, healing and recovery and offers tips and guidelines for your personal journey.

Speaker 1:

Today we'll be exploring the topic of starting over, or the way I see it, starting again. Every new beginning is a chance for us to assess everything we've learned up to this moment so we can apply it to our next move. Or as one of my meditation teachers used to say, everything has been prepped for what comes next. So growth and change. Let me just first acknowledge that there are a lot of challenges and emotions, you know, that are told through starting over.

Speaker 1:

You know I myself went through a divorce. It was protracted. We separated almost seven years ago and yet it didn't happen until finally, until three years ago. It's a lot of time and there were a lot of emotions, a lot of challenges because of the circumstances that led to the divorce and the length of time we were married and so much like that. There are other things in people's lives, whether they're death or financial setbacks or career changes. All of these have challenges intrinsic in them and emotional aspects to them. So I don't want to sugarcoat that it's easy. Growth isn't easy. Change isn't easy, yet there is an opportunity that comes along with it.

Speaker 1:

You know, self-discovery, resilience these are qualities that we don't necessarily get to practice or experience when things are going well. At least in my experience. It only happens when things are really challenging. Do I really expand and grow and do I really know that I can see my way through it? So here's a quote you do not just wake up and become the butterfly. Growth is a process. So it takes a lot of strength and courage to embark on a new path. Strength to break through that cocoon. If you're the caterpillar that's attempting to become the butterfly, encourage meaning really being connected to your heart. To know that you're the caterpillar that's attempting to become the butterfly, encourage meaning really being connected to your heart, to know that you're following your path. Because let me just be very, very clear, the path can be difficult and you're going to need strength and courage to see your way through it.

Speaker 1:

So I want to share with you some information about some women who have paved the way for us. Someone like Elizabeth Gilbert, who wrote E Pray Love. She left a long-term marriage in order to fulfill her happiness, and it wasn't easy. It was really messy. She's known to have said embrace the glorious mess that you are, and so it's important for us to consider when we think about her story is where have I tried to hide my messiness? Instead of growing through it? I like to say, if I'm going to go through it, I want to grow through it.

Speaker 1:

Another person to remind us of this process is Sheryl Sandberg. She's the COO of Meta, which was Facebook, and she's also the author of Option B. She wrote this story after experiencing a sudden tragic loss of her husband in 2015. And the book is about her process, of what she went through, and she's a staunch advocate for grief, awareness and resilience, and her quote that she's known for is option A is not available, so let's kick the shit out of option B. I just love that. So resilient, so strong, so powerful. Such a great comeback. A very tragic time for her. And another character and personality to consider is Martha Stewart, who all of us may know did some prison time or some investment fraud, and yet she was thought to have totally lost her brand going into that situation and then was able to come out of it stronger than ever and re-engaged, re-emerged as a media personality, entrepreneur and regaining public trust for being true to her personality, true to herself, and I think that as we talk about this information today, I want you to just keep in mind that we don't get to choose the circumstances that we go through. We only get to choose our response to it, and these women demonstrated great response to those situations they were dealing with.

Speaker 1:

Here are some statistics to consider American women after divorce. Approximately 52% of divorced women in the United States remarry. This is, according to the Coquette Woman, 52%. That's only half. Remarriage rates have declined over recent decades, with women remarrying at lower rates than men. In fact, one of the maybe uncommonly known statistics is that divorced men marry at a rate almost half as quickly as their divorcee wives, usually within a few years. Bowling Green State University is the one that provided the quote that the women remarrying at lower rates than men. And factors influencing lower remarriage rates among women include increased financial independence and a desire for personal freedom. That's, according to the Wall Street Journal, because we grow stronger in ourselves and stronger in our pocketbook. We have better choices, we don't have to remarry for money, and that's such a great thing to know. Yet there are transitions in career, while the statistics on women starting new jobs post-divorce is limited. Many women pursue new career opportunities or reenter the workforce after divorce.

Speaker 1:

My experience I was working before I divorced. I just did a major pivot post-divorce. I decided to go a different way. Having been a therapist for almost two decades, I came into this realm of doing more coaching and life skill training for women like me who needed a pivot or were given circumstances that required a pivot in their life. And I want you to know it is possible, it is achievable. Now, challenges faced include balancing work and family responsibilities, potential gaps in employment history and the need for an updated skills. This is all to say that when we reenter the workforce, we may have some challenges being seen as being ready, as seen as being qualified, as seen as having the necessary skill set, training to be ready.

Speaker 1:

I want to just tell you, as someone who has had to face all this myself it's possible, it's achievable. The person who needs to know that is you. You can get training and support to help you get further polished or further trained if needed. Yet I want you to know it is possible. Support systems such as career counseling, maybe therapy, job training programs can aid in successful transitions. Getting back into the working world does require support, does require maybe some training, depending on how you decide to pivot. Yet it is possible. It's never too late, I promise you. So here are some practical tips that I would recommend for you to consider for embracing your new beginning actionable items for you.

Speaker 1:

First one is set clear goals. Clarity is everything, and when I got into this new part of my life, I needed to define what I wanted to achieve, both personally and professionally. When I got divorced, I found myself feeling very lost and confused, and the first thing I needed was some recovery, and so I got help from both a therapist as well as a recovery coach to help me better understand what led to the breakdown of my marriage, the challenges I was facing in my life and why I was feeling unfulfilled in my career. So through that process, I was able to get a lot of clarity around what I wanted to do. Next, I knew that I wanted to get healthier in body and mind, and I knew I wanted to get a new creative aspect to my career, and so the next thing I had to do is I had to seek support. I mentioned my recovery and my therapist, my recovery coach, my therapist.

Speaker 1:

I also realized that I didn't know the first thing about how to do the next things I wanted to do. I wanted to start a podcast. I wanted to have a YouTube channel. I wanted to be a teacher in those formats, I wanted to be a coach, and yet I didn't know how to begin. I sought out coaching. For that, I went to Fiverrcom, which is a service on the internet, in order to help me get access to some really great people in service, creative service that could help me create the platforms that I wanted to do. I also found an ongoing spiritual coach who's been my ongoing guide. I have a business coach.

Speaker 1:

Obviously, I'm really into coaching and I realized that I needed help and I needed to get out of my own way. This was the next thing I needed to do and this was an investment in me, which is the third tip I want to give you Invest in yourself. For me, it looked like hiring coaches to help me move on to the next thing. For you, it might look like taking a class online, watching YouTube videos regularly, getting maybe a bit of your degree together. If you want to pursue something that requires that, invest in yourself, because every time we invest in us, the repayment comes back. That's been my experience.

Speaker 1:

I also had to practice better self-care. That meant like I had to make sure I was reading things that were feeding my spirit. That meant that I had to get to bed early in order to wake up as early as I do. I had to have the discipline of creative work daily in the morning, which is when I'm my strongest minded and creative minded. I had to also have a regular fitness workout. I had to eat better All these things that had somehow gotten lost through the process of divorce and the aftermath of that. Yet now I am able to do something that is just for me.

Speaker 1:

I can say this so that I can be clear I am a mother. I have three children. They are all adults. I have that luxury, so to speak, that I don't have them in my home. I have them living on their own, and so I can just focus on me. Now someone else might have younger children.

Speaker 1:

I want you to know it's still possible to do these things when you have children around you. You're going to need to prioritize yourself. So, number one set clear goals. Be clear about what you need to do for yourself and what you want to do in professional life. I want you to seek support so that you get the help that you deserve and need to be able to take your life to the next level and then see all of that help that you're getting, as well as anything else that you need to employ, as investing in yourself. When we invest in us, we get that repayment back. The universe always takes care of us when we take care of ourselves.

Speaker 1:

And, lastly, we want to practice self-care. We really cannot move forward if we're not taking care of ourselves. It really does matter what we do from eating, sleeping, reading, what we do daily in terms of the practices that we do for self-care, as well as creative work matters. So what are you doing with your time? Think about it. Self-care matters. I want you to prioritize your mental as well as your physical. When you do that, you will have well-being during times of change. All of this stuff is something that we need to consider and something that will help build the foundation for where you're headed next.

Speaker 1:

So please know that, wherever you are in your transition, in your life journey at the moment, post-divorce, or whatever circumstances that you're dealing with that have you pivoting in your life journey at the moment post-divorce or whatever circumstances that you're dealing with that have you pivoting in your life. That growth, empowerment and everything that goes along with that is an opportunity for you to become what you're meant to be. The moment I realized that everything was happening for me not just to me was when I was free to really embrace my life in a bigger way. New beginnings, while challenging, offer opportunities for being happier, freer, more alive. Remember the quote you do not just wake up and become the butterfly. Growth is a process. I hope that you'll embrace the process. So thank you for tuning in today. This is Anna McBride from she Asks, the podcast that offers practical hope. Thank you for listening. Tune in, come back, offer any feedback or suggestions you may have for future podcasts. We're here to listen. Look forward to hearing from you. Until soon, be well.