The Best Conversation I Ever Had.... That Was Never Recorded

Have you ever made a mistake… and realized it might have happened for a reason?

In this episode of SHE Asked: Tools for Practical Hope, I share a very real moment where I forgot to hit record during one of the most important conversations I’ve had on this podcast.

At first, I felt embarrassed, frustrated, and honestly… disappointed in myself.

But what unfolded next taught me something deeper about presence, emotional overwhelm, and the hidden ways our past can pull us out of the moment—even when we think we’re “fine.”

If you’ve ever felt like you dropped the ball, lost an opportunity, or weren’t fully present when it mattered most—this conversation is for you.

THIS EPISODE'S PRACTICAL TOOLS:
- Creating space around important moments
- Being honest about your emotional state
- Removing distractions before they cost you
- Asking for help instead of pushing through
- Practicing grace instead of self-judgment

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Transcript

The Unrecorded Interview Mistake

Asking To Redo And Hearing No

What Threw Me Off Focus

Tools For Presence And Protection

Nervous System, Grace, And Lessons

Moving Forward And How To Work Together

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome back to She Ask: Tools for Practical Hope. I'm your host, Anna McBride, and I'm so glad you're here. It's finally spring in New York City. Even though it's still cold, it means that a lot of things are shifting in the air for everyone, including me. I've just started my 29029 Everesting training that's kicked into high gear. Yet spring also means that the mind can be really active, right? Thinking about a lot of things, want to bring about a lot of changes, right? And this is the time of year, the season when things want to take root, start to bud, start to blossom. And in all that activity, it's very easy for the mind to get distracted from being present. So today I want to use this episode to talk about a situation that happened recently to me where I messed up. I messed up on something that was really important to me. And I'll unpack this with you, but it was an interview. I was having a conversation with someone who was a big deal to me. She was someone who is a high-level performer in her field. And I was very excited to talk to her. She's a great character, and I wanted to impress her. And she had made time to be on the podcast with me, and I really appreciated that. So we jump into this conversation, and we had had a few technical challenges at the beginning, so there was that. However, things settled down and we settled in to what was by far one of the best conversations I've been able to have as of on this podcast. And we covered lots of things. This is a woman who has a lot of life experience. She's an octogenarian, so she really brought that life experience to the conversation as well as professionally. She had so many stories to share. It was amazing. We talked about her profession. We talked about dating. We talked about just changing the conversation in America around aging and what that really looks like. It was just amazing how quickly our time together went, how fluid the conversation was. So at the end of it, I was thanking her and I said, just a moment, I'm going to go stop the recording. And as I did that, the machine told me, recording started. And that's when I realized my mistake. I had never started the recording to begin with. Oh my gosh. I fumbled very humbly to her and said, let me take a look at this and I'll get back to you. Because she heard the machine say that as well. And when I was able to collect myself after saying goodbye, I realized I had made that mistake. I had didn't hit record at the beginning of the conversation. I thought I had, I always do, and I did not that day. And it was in the unpacking of that I learned something that I want to share with you today because I not only felt the emotional growth from that through that experience, I also learned some tools to help me stay more present and aware when I'm moving through things like that can happen at this time of year or any season in life, really. And that's what I want to share with you today. So at first I was embarrassed and then humbled, and I went back to her and I explained what had happened without too much detail. And I asked her if she would be willing to have the conversation again, if she at a time and day that was convenient to her. And without hesitation, her response was no. Because she doesn't believe in redundancy when it comes to conversations, and she felt like she had put it all out there. And she was right. And then I had to start accepting it internally. And then I started unpacking it the way I always do. I talk about it. So I was talking about it with a friend of mine the following day and a really good friend that I go to on council and I shared with him what had happened. And Tom said to me, Some experiences are not meant to be recorded. How about you just accept that? And when I heard those words, I initially reacted internally. I was not ready to hear that. And then I let it just settle in because Tom gives me very good advice and he knows me well. And I thought, you know what? I'm going to start to look at it from that perspective and see what can come from that. So through that lens is how I started to unpack what had happened. Because if I backed up to that day and I look back to how the day unfolded, I had a conversation with my ex-husband around finances earlier in the morning, ahead of the conversation I had with this person that was really important to me for the podcast. And I thought that conversation with my ex-husband went really well. I thought I handled myself well. I thought I had been very emotionally detached and got through it. And understanding this, that he and I have been divorced for four years, and there was always something about our relationship, the dynamic of it, particularly when it regards money, that has put me in a very reduced capacity. I become the child and he is the adult. And that's what led to a lot of our problems in our marriage. And now that I have done the healing work, I can see it for what it was. However, when we have conversations now, even four years out, as much as I would like to think I'm okay, it still impacts me internally. It makes my mind go in all kinds of places that is hard to understand. And if I'm not in connection with how I'm really feeling, it can certainly distract me from being present. And I believe that was a big contributor to what had happened. I let it throw me emotionally. I let it throw me even from a focus standpoint. And it certainly took me out of the present moment. It took me all the way back, not only to my marriage, also to my childhood. So yeah, that had been going on. If I go back even further, I have some medical things going on, some things I'm attending to. However, they had just occurred ahead of that day, and that's distracting me. Then all this training I'm doing for this 29029 Eversting event, that piled on. So it was a waited day, a waited week. And if I'm being honest with myself, I'd like to think of myself as fully immune, like I can pivot at any moment. However, I am human and I want to make sure that I attend to me. And I learn some things through this experience that are going to help me moving forward. Because I got to tell you something. That if I really want to protect something that's important to me, like a conversation that took me days, if not weeks, to set up, then I need to make sure that I remove any possible distractions because protecting it is up to me. Attending to me is up to me. And I want to be on that level of accountability. So here are some tools I want to share with you that really I'm going to keep incorporating going forward. I want to be more honest with myself. When I have projects coming up that are important to me, like this podcast, I want to build a container. And that includes the day. Like, how do I want that day to go? And if I have something of importance, let's say in the middle of the day, I want to make sure my morning is clear for me to prepare and for me to stay grounded. And I could do better about that. I still have this tendency to think like I can pack a lot into my day. And really, I think what presence needs me to do is to remove obstacles, allow things to be more free space around what's important to me. I also could have done a better job at making sure that any conversation I'm having with my ex-husband, particularly when it involves money, is nowhere near, around, or close to anything that's important. In fact, I don't even need to have the conversation with him about that. That's what the attorney is for. So that's something I'm going to incorporate going forward. And I think when it comes to my training, I need to also keep in mind that I want to put space around how much training I'm doing, how frequently I can do it. So I have to be honest. Like I just had a big event this past Saturday, and here we are Wednesday of this next week, four days later. And I'm still recovering, if I'm honest. I am still quite tired. And that's okay. That's just the reality of what's going on. So honesty, space, planning. And then the fourth one is asking for help, right? Whether it's from an attorney, from my very capable and willing assistant, from friends to talk things through. I could be a little bit rigid sometimes around what I let people help me with. And I think like I'm really learning from this that I need to really allow more people in because people are willing to help me. I just don't always ask for help. And then maybe the fifth one, besides rest, right? And better self-care in that regard is just grace. Because as much as I'm going to try to be very good at this podcast because it really means a lot to me, I've got to understand what Tom said. Some experiences aren't meant to be recorded. So it could very well be that I had to go through that and in order to grow through that. And the growth is more in understanding what were the lessons built into the experience. And often, if I'm going to feel what I which I did during that experience, I felt humbled. I also felt embarrassed and I felt upset when it first happened. Like I'd done something wrong. And whenever those feelings come up, it's often my nervous system. In fact, it's always my nervous system, attempting to say, whoa, don't be so hard on yourself. Don't turn on yourself. Turn in inward and learn what's really going on. And it's that level of work that I've been doing. And I'm grateful. Like it didn't take me very long to process it. And I'm surrounded by such good people that I had those conversations which helped me unpack it and get to the heart of it. So I don't know if I'll get another chance to have the conversation and record it with this amazing woman that I made that recording mistake with. However, I'd like to think so at some point. If not that one, there'll be more. And because that's how the universe works for me, it's very generous, very supporting. As long as I keep leaning into all the healing practices that I have learned and put to work for me and that I work with clients on, I know things are going to work out. And I will offer these to you to keep in mind because as you move through spring, as you attempt to build new ways of being that you want the foundation of the growth that you are expanding into, there's going to be some bumps. There are going to be some moments where you might feel like you're messing up, you're falling down, you make mistakes. But one thing I've learned is that mistakes are a necessary part of being human. That's how we learn. And so the word is a little hard to swallow, so I like to change it. It's not a mistake, it's a lesson. And if I'm gonna learn, I learn through mistakes. They're necessary for me. They really help me grow. And I want you to understand that is life working for us and not against us. So I'm grateful that I got to share this with you because it helps me to share what I'm going through so that you can be a part of this experience with me. Because if I'm going to grow, I want to take you all with me. Because that's what life is offering is so much expansion, so much growth. But with that might come these humbling moments. And I want you to know that you're not alone. I'm going through it right alongside you, and I'm here to help you by sharing from my life experience so that you too can know what it's like to have a moment and recover. It's possible. We move forward, we grow, we expand, we do better. And that's what this podcast is really centering on is how to help you provide examples, provide tools so that you too can expand and grow in your life and become the better version of you. So thank you for tuning in and hearing the story and these tools. And I hope that they help you as you move through spring and everything that's included with that. And I always want to tell you, I'm so grateful to have you tune in and check in on all me and I get to share this with you. And if you're looking for some one-on-one work with me, click the link in the show notes and reach out. Your first consultation is always free with me. I'd be happy to help you walk through whatever challenges you're facing. You have been listening to She Asks Tools for Practical Hope. I'm your host, Anna McBride. Thank you for tuning in, and until soon, be well.